Hello friends. I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Why? Well there are lots of reasons. Like my growing business. Things have really been talking off, and within the past couple months it’s been common for me to have work just about every day. It’s been exciting to see this thing grow and take form. I’ve had lots of opportunity for ministry, and to connect with new friends, old friends and friends that seem to not fit in any demographics. But all of that to say I’ve been too busy to blog. Which is a problem isn’t it?
I feel like one of the postures that I default to in life is busyness. Now when I say busy, know that there is a difference between being busy and being productive. I believe that God wants us to be productive. I believe that it is the will of God for us to be aware of our calling and be productive with our purpose and calling in mind. Busy, on the other hand, is not as intentional as being productive.
Busy sneaks up on you. Busy starts innocently. But it kills…
…it kills joy
…it kills creativity
…it kills worship
…it kills intimacy
…it kills productivity
…it just kills.
I live with this tension inside of me. Because knowing everything I just typed, whenever someone asks what I’ve been up to it always brings a swell of pride when I can talk about how busy I’ve been. Similarly, if that same question is asked and I just spent the day watching Person of Interest. This wave of embarrassment and guilt creeps over me. Like I just lost some cosmic trial.
In my experience busyness is fed by insecurity and the need for control, which is why busyness always leads to weariness and death. But in the times that I’ve been productive, I can see how confidence and vision were at the forefront. Not to mention the fissure that separate busyness from productivity, which is, rest. There is no room in busyness for rest, but productivity is so powerful because rest is at its foundation.
Over the last couple years my perspective of rest has been broadened from a day off, to a posture of living life. If busyness is a posture fed by insecurity and the need to self-medicate with control then rest is a posture that has nothing to prove, no one to impress and fully realizes that control is overrated. Rest knows acceptance not of this world and trusts that a God that is better, stronger and smarter is in control.
I want to break this deep seeded lie that says my value is somehow tied to my workload, so that I can rest. Not just when I’m watching Person of Interest. But when I’m working, and driving and in the grocery store. I want to walk around in rest.